You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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