Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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