I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Randomize
