At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
honey bunches of taint.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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