I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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