I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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