So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
