I hate all girls vehemently.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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