Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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