I am spending my child support on dildos
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
