There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You are the jesus of drinking
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
why is half of my head shaved?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
