Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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