Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
