Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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