ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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