Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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