while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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