Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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