I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
