this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
