You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
