it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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