I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
