I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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