whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
