Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
