I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
