just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize