i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
