moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
