mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
