? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
