Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
