Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
