But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
