That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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