I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
