should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
