She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
