i don't like sucking hair
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
