I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize