Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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