Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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