You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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