I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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