obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
so much tequila, so little girl.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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