Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
