Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize