Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
