That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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