you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
