My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
