i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
