What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
