i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
