My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize