just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
